FIFA. Overhyped.

I love FIFA. I know that makes no sense with the title of the post, but bare with me. It needs remaking. Gameplay-wise, it’s becoming rather awful. Better than Pro Evo, yeah, but awful nonetheless. I get the feeling that the developers over at EA Sports have been taking it easy since about 2008. Yeah, the game is a great laugh, but so is Pacman, and that’s not exactly the most technologically advanced game.


I’ll start with why it’s good. You can score some pretty awesome goals, granted. It’s a good laugh to play with friends, plus everyone did that thing where you pretended to be your favourite player in the back garden as a kid; FIFA really lets you control your idols. But, most of that excitement is due to the sport, not the attributes of the game itself. Who wouldn’t want to slip into the world of football if they could?

So, why the dislike of the game? I’ve been playing the new FarCry game recently and it reminded me of what consoles can really do; and believe me, it’s far above what FIFA seems to give out. I don’t want to get hung-up on the dull technical intricacies of the game, so here’s just a brief list of some of my main annoyances with the game:

First up, what the hell is wrong with the EA Servers? I struggle to get through a single Ultimate Team session without being kicked off, despite remaining signed into the PlayStation Network. The EAS FC catalogue is even worse. The last time it was down for maintenance, they claimed the servers would be back in two hours. Two hours passes. Then three. Then four. Then suddenly it’s been a whole day. Nothing. A day and a half is reasonable I guess, I don’t know what hiccups they came across. Shame it didn’t take that short a period of time. Three days EA. Three days. It would be forgivable if half the stuff they offer via the EAS FC didn’t used to be free. I, for example, had spent quite a while with my flatmate creating a team online to use on a career mode only to find out that we had to wait for the servers to be back up in order to pay to use the teams. Seriously. That feature worked perfectly and for free back in like 2006.

The fans. It’s partially hilarious, partially awful. Well, mostly awful. Just look at them and try to claim that they’re third generation quality.

I didn't even pixelate this.

I didn’t even pixelate this.

Last time I played football it suddenly struck me. I was moving in 360°, just like an analog control! Yet FIFA has decided you can only really move in 8 directions. That’s nice and realistic isn’t it?

The 8 direction moving leads to another problem. WHY THE HELL ARE THE PITCHES SO BIG?! Oh. Because the players need so much room to manoeuvre as they can’t go 360°. The developers over at EA are just creating more problems for themselves.

Back to Ultimate Team, and this one is a really simple one. Why is the Goalkeeper number 2 not number 1? Just why? It makes no sense.

Also, some of the players look incredible. Others look ridiculous. Joe Cole, for some reason, looks absolutely perfect. Then someone like Giroud is just a generic model. And the generic models look nothing like real people. Why don’t the players age properly? Stirling looks like a bloody 40 year old bloke, not a 17 year old guy. Ridiculous.

I guess the developers aren't a fan of Giroud?

I guess the developers aren’t a fan of Giroud?

Rant over. There’s other stuff that didn’t make it to this list, but seriously, FIFA really grinds my gears sometimes. But I’ll still play it. That’s the problem. All the while that they have a majority of the sales in the football gaming market, they won’t need to change. But I doubt any of us would have the balls to really make a stand and stop buying it. So, as much as I’d like to see some major improvements for FIFA 14, I wouldn’t get too excited.

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